


queen of swords

by theoryofgoth



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i wrote it as romantic but if you take the wedding aspect out of it this could be read as platonic, wedding vows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 00:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20939543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoryofgoth/pseuds/theoryofgoth
Summary: felix’s wedding vows for chan





	queen of swords

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was inspired by a post i found on tumblr explaining the tarot reading they did on chan and felix’s relationship. they pulled a queen of swords for how felix perceives chan, meaning he sees him as the sun, but it also just means that chan represents leadership and guidance to him. if anyone wants to read the post in full, i’ll leave the persons tumblr name at the end. anyway, i hope you like this little thing i did lol.

chan,

the other day, you asked me why i love you. you get insecure sometimes. and i poke fun at you, pout, sometimes throw meaningless jokes to lighten your mood. but i don’t wanna do that anymore, because i love you, christopher bang. and among everyone, you're the only person i would never question my love for.

there’s a million answers to that question, more than i think i myself even know. but the ones i do know well, brace yourself. i’m about to get cringier than my fortnite dances (that you hate). 

since the moment i met you i knew what we had was big, whether i gave into it or not the magnetic force that pulls us together would exist and i’d feel it. i still feel it, especially when we’re apart and i want you next to me. even if that means keeping me up because you’re making music and refuse to go to sleep no matter how much i whine, or just existing so i know you’re there and can confidently talk to a camera. i want you next to me. 

for awhile there in the beginning… i wanted to feel alone, but you refused to leave me behind. you refused to leave me behind and god chan, leaving you behind in that moment was the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do. you were there when korean was becoming easier, and you were there when korean made me want to jump off the top of our company building. you were there when things started to make sense, and you were there when i felt like a stranger. you were there, and now australia doesn’t feel like home as much as you and your bleach damaged hair, dimples, baby noises, and giggles do. 

countless times you held me when nothing was familiar and i couldn’t even communicate with our members. countless times you’ve anchored me and made me feel like i could breathe. countless times your accent made me feel just a shred of normalcy when i didn’t even know who i was anymore. you’re my home, the only home i ever want to know, and if i never go back to australia again i’ll be okay. because i have you.

there were moments after leaving everything behind for this that i accepted maybe no one would understand me, but you’ve taken that thought and completely abolished it. almost like the walls you can build up over and over again but i’ll still always know exactly how to take them down. i’ve never experienced anything like the understanding we have for one another, and the way we could walk through this life absolutely blind and you’d still be able to know what i need when i need it.

i love you now at 21 years old, dangerously determined and so, so talented. sometimes we can share something as simple and delicate as a look and suddenly i’m motivated to dance for five more hours, because just the sparkle in your eyes is inspiring. and i love you at 18, watching your friends debut without you and feeling so, so defeated. if i could get in a time machine and go back to show you that in a few years time there’d be a bright eyed australian kid just waiting to abolish your walls, i would. 

because making you feel okay makes me feel okay. because sometimes other people make me nervous but you never have. because you can answer for me in interviews you know me better than i know myself. on the other hand, you’ve always encouraged me to be my own person. always made sure that when i did want to speak, i was given the opportunity. always made sure i was listened to. and that might seem small, but it means an astronomical amount to me.

you’re not the only one who’s insecure, though. there’s times when the hate comments get to me. there’s times when everything gets too loud. there’s times when the emptiness is overwhelming, and you could easily leave me behind for it. for not feeling much for you, or for anything around me. but you keep your promise, over and over and over again. you’re my logic, my sunshine, the batman to my robin.

like i said, there’s a million reasons why i love you. but i’ll never forget the moment i realized i was in love with you. we were laying in bed after having a long talk about how i’d been feeling. the only emotions i’d had for days were negative, and at this point you were just saying stupid things to try and get me to smile. you went on a long tangent about my freckles because you’re obsessed with them, you creep. but you claimed it was because they’re nice to look at, beautiful. you seemed so enamored, and to this day you still are by them even though you have some yourself. but that’s when i knew, all those years ago, when you sparked something positive in me, that i’d completely and utterly given myself up to this magnetic pull we have.

you’ve only ever encouraged me to keep going. and though none of my setbacks have disappeared because of you, you make me feel like they aren’t that big and scary. and that christopher bang, are only some of the reasons why i love you. and though back then i thought accepting how head over heels in love i’d fallen for you was giving myself up to the magnetic pull, i actually think marrying you is.

**Author's Note:**

> the tumblr user whose post this fic was inspired by: bluemoonpunch  
also, come say hi on my twitter: gothkingchan


End file.
